Tricking Children With Grapefruit

A Flight of the Conchords song about France reminded me of a funny German word.




No, they don't call fish "Jacque Cousteau." Grapefruit are now commonly called "Grapefruit", but they used to be called "Pamplemuse," though in no way pronounced like in French. While I was quizzing some children on fruit names, I asked "What is 'Pamplemuse' in English?" They were unable to make the connection, somehow having never learned the older word for grapefruit.

This lead to the grapefruit's inclusion in our next activity, storytelling with three unrelated objects. Although some of the stories were no better than "I am eating the grapefruit," I couldn't help but imagine some of the children's stories as postmodern grammar adventures. An example:

"I and my mother are eating in the restaurant. The waiter is coming with the fish. I am eating him with the spoon. Then I am going home and sleeping. Pamplemuse!"

Sure, you think it's just a matter of overusing the present progressive. That is, until we play with line breaks.

I and my mother
are eating in the restaurant.
The waiter is coming
with the fish. I am
eating him with the spoon.
Then I am going home and sleeping. Pamplemuse

And you thought writing in the simple present was literary!